Purpose of Wealth

These days one of the biggest talks in the town is the new mansion that the CMD of Reliance Industries is building. Magnificent, palatial, ostentatious and flamboyant are some of the words that I can actually associate with the structure. Named appropriately as “Antilla”, this building has all sorts of comforts that you can only dream about in a developing country like India. Some of the things that the building has even many other buildings in the world don’t have this kind of facilities. I am talking about the proud buildings that are built in the western world. On one side I feel proud to reside in a country that is resided by such a wealthy person, who by his might of wealth, is ready to take on any kind of completion that may come from the western world, but on the other side I am really confused as to why I am really feeling the pride for this structure and actually admiring it when it is not creating any kind of value to me as a citizen of this country.


To introspect myself I refer to an interview of Mr. Sunil Bharti Mittal, which was recently aired on CNBC 18 channel. In a very candid and honest conversation the telecom baron said “Wealth should have its own purpose and should keep you alive even when you are gone”. The words and his comparisons with purposeful millionaires like Carnegie and Rockefeller actually moved me a great deal. I was very much in synch with what he was hinting towards in his interview and that was the obscene display of wealth. Wealth is not might, it is not ethically speaking a source for powerful display, and rather it is a very powerful tool, given by God to only few lucky persons, to change something in the world for better.


I recall the story of Andrew Carnegie, who told, “It is a pleasure to live like a millionaire, but a disgrace to die being one.” In today’s world that would be a bit of an overstatement but the work that the steel magnate was able to do in his life-time, was a stupendous example of philanthropy till date. The Carnegie foundation today is actually one of the most renowned foundations in the world. It has been able to create wonders for the American society in general and has played an immense role in the development of the life of the common American people. Sunil Mittal’s initiative of the Bharti Foundation, similarly Narayan Murthy’s Infosys foundation and the innumerable social point of influence opened by the Tatas are the examples of wealth being shown its own purpose.

A hundred years later when I am not there and they are also not there, I see people remembering these noble philanthropists for their contribution to the society, rather than actually harping about their luxurious residences. Honestly speaking, we should not assess a rich man by the mere show of wealth that is being done, however the assessment should be based on the way the wealth is being spent for the betterment of the world. After all the word “Rich” should suffice for being rich in values, content, obligations and responsibilities rather that just being rich in money, power and influence.

Think about it.

Pragmatism and Relationships!!!!!

On my series of articles about relationship I feel that there is an impression that I have been totally cynical and pessimistic about my attitude towards relationship. It has been often understood that the articles on relationship that I write are about how a breakage occurs in a relationship rather than how actually to maintain it. Well, I am here to justify myself that I am not that kind of a misanthrope after all and I also would like to write some articles on the essence of maintaining a relationship in a very peaceful manner but to understand how to maintain a relationship it is also very essential to understand how relationships are broken and that is why the first two articles.

One very important thing about sustaining sanity in a relationship is pragmatism. Most of the time there are differences due to the fact that the female brain works in a different way from that of the male brain and thus the definitions of pragmatisms may differ in such cases. For the female mind dining near the beach on a full moon night may be a pragmatic option but for the male counterpart this may only seem to be a futile expenditure that may be avoided. In such a case how do you deal with the things? How do you actually convince that the best thing she might be imagining is actually not a very good proposition after all? If I really had the answer then I could actually have solved lot of problems. However, articles are also written to search some answers rather than only propose new theories. I believe that there are many sensible people who could actually find an answer to this question.

Pragmatism is a factor that is relative as I said before and does change from people to people. For you a candle lit dinner may not be a practical option to celebrate an occasion but for your partner this may be the most important treat of her life. You may be thinking that she has gone crazy, you are wrong. Because it is you who have come of age and diluted time with the concentration of love that your relationship actually had. You have actually forgotten the fact that once, long time back, to woe her you also had suggested the same option to her, to which she was as enthusiastic as she is today. In such a case who is the culprit, your partner or you. I have seen most of the times it is the male counterpart that tends to dilute feelings citing reasons of work-pressure and pragmatism, these however are only excuses for the male counterpart to actually escape from the fiddles and chores that the relationship demands.

A man’s love is just like that of a waterfall that begins with a lot of enthusiasm but then when it sees a little cold surface it just breaks down to never start again, the love of a woman, on the contrary, is like that of a river which keeps on flowing and flowing consistently in its own pace. However, it is not the job of the man only to understand the female mind always. It is, believe me, the most difficult job in the whole world to understand a female mind; however it is easier for a female to understand a male’s psychology. What men want is much easier to guess for a woman rather than for a man to guess what a woman wants. That is the reason I said in my earlier article that love cannot be the sustaining factor in a relationship as it has its own ways of expression in either of the cases. So it is always better to set the feeling of love aside for sometimes and understand in a more practical way as to what is happening with your relationship.

It can be a herculean task to actually guess what the other wants but it comes with time. People are there who have been able to perfect it with time. This requires a lot of patience and lot of perseverance also. It is a tough job and requires a lot of soul searching as well as introspection. However, it is much more evident and easier to understand as to what the other doesn’t want. It comes from the experiences, bitter or sweet, that you might be having and also from the time that you may have spent with your partner. This is an easier job and a more pragmatic way of handling the intricacies of a relationship. Eg she may not want you to be busy with your cricket match on weekend; solution: don’t do it and just record the match, after all you will not be awarded if your team wins or not be sacked if your team loses. The recording when watched for the first time can be equally intriguing as the live match. He doesn’t like to watch serials in the night, so good, just go out for a walk in the park and this saves you from a lot of fight that you might end up doing. You can watch the re-run and also if you don’t watch it now then it doesn’t affect your family life in any manner.

This is how I define adjustment and pragmatism in a relationship. It doesn’t come immediately, it doesn’t come over-night, however with experiences good or bad it may develop gradually.

The Auto-Rickshaw nuisance of Mumbai

It was really a very happy moment for me when I heard that 22nd June 2010 the rickshaws were going on strike in whole of Mumbai. Surprised!!! How a person who almost regularly takes the auto can is now relieved on seeing the autos going on strike? Well, I am just going to describe in this article how beneficial is the strike for Mumbaikars.

What the Autowalas think and what the Mumbaikars gave them:
The autowalas of Mumbai just think that one strike and the entire commercial hub of this country comes to its knees. Their assumption was given a hooting by the Mumbaikars as the city didn’t collapse. The egos of this irresponsible dwellers in the city was given a kick back by the people as the business continued as usual and there was no disruption in whatever way you can think of to the regular working of the city. Also on the contrary there were no traffic jams in the city and even in the peak hours despite rains the traffic was moving very well. I could in fact drive to the office very nicely which I never do. Also I could see that the other modes of transport running almost flawlessly on the otherwise crowded Andheri-Kurla road with much ease and comfort. The travelling time that day was reduced like anything and the distances that used to be more than an hour reduced to mere 15-20 minutes, which was unbelievable. Their so called strike was a blessing in disguise for the common Mumbaikar, hello are the news channels listening?????

Media Sympathy:
That day I also saw the way the media was going left right and center just lying about the so called difficulties that the people were facing in the city. Frankly speaking the politically motivated media just is not aware of the sentiments of the people who actually despise this irresponsible autowalas of Mumbai to the core. Whole day there is a reporting that the life is totally paralyzed in the city, which was just a white lie that the media was presenting, on the contrary life was much more smooth and prepared without this unscrupulous community who just dwell on the roads irresponsibly and ply the three wheelers on their wish and without any kind of adherence to rules.

Why I am so angry?
The reason of my outburst is because of the fact that the autowalas of Mumbai are the most irresponsible beings that I have met. Everyday there is a thing that there would be two or three autos that will just not go to the destination that you are planning to go to. In the morning they always give the excuse that “wahan pe bahut traffic hain- isliye nahin jaana hai” (There is a lot of traffic over there so I don’t want to go) without realizing that is their community which is contributing the lions’ share to the traffic. Even when a person is in emergency they would just not care about them and only look for their convenience. It is as if the government has given them a three wheeler to just stroll around the entire city with a public transport license and cause this nuisance that they are causing in the entire city.

Political instability:
If I investigate this issue in deep then I find a lot of reason behind the anger of MNS towards these people who have come from outside and causing this nonsense in the maximum city. I have never seen a local auto driver say no to me for any kind of destination; it is only the migrant autowalas that have this kind of geographical discriminations which they openly display. The question is that if they are not actually interested in doing the business that they have come for then why are they staying in this city after all? The answer is to serve the great vote bank that the non locals are having, a reason to grab power the non ethical way and then try to rule over the locals in the city by the virtue of some illiterate vote bank. I am also a migrant but MNS is not having a problem with me, it is because of the fact that I am not creating the political and regional imbalance that this city doesn’t deserve, I have come to this city to do my work, which I am doing with utmost dedication by abiding by all the rules that this city and its administration has laid down for me. I am not trying to be a power snatcher and definitely not a person who would go against the local population. I am trying to be the sugar in the milk rather than being the drop of lemon syrup that actually would spoil the milk. I see autowalas (especially migrants) just plying the autos without any reason, not interested to carry passengers but only to give a paid lift to people who are going to go to their destination of interest or even on the way. They are just paid to stay in this city for the Election Day, when they can actually misuse their right of voting and try to create a regional imbalance in the city. For some reasons I feel that this agenda of MNS of stopping the useless migration from the root holds little water. However, having said that I would also like to say that there are intelligent and very tactical ways of handling these people.

Finally I would like to say that we on the other hand are also equally responsible for giving lot of importance to these people. If we are not happy with their services, or we feel that our priorities as public is being neglected by a so called public transport system then we should launch mass complains to the relevant authorities and seek our right to information for follow-up of these complains. It is only then, we will have a proper system of autos in this city.

Relationships that assert Change

In my previous article about surviving relationships I had mentioned about the fact that how love is not the only factor that governs the success of a relationship. There were lot of queries to the fact that if not love then what. My article seemed to be a bit inconclusive; however, deliberately I didn’t want to conclude the article in any sense. This is because of the fact that I wanted to keep a thing that is not understood conclusively on the inconclusive side. There may be lot of theories that define the guidelines to maneuver a relationship to a successful directions, many agony-aunts and agony-uncles, but honestly speaking relationships are like finger-prints, they differ from person to person and from circumstances to circumstances. Hence, there cannot be a fixed formula to alleviate the pain, or envisage a problem that occurs in a relationship. I, for once, am not trying to be a guru, preaching any kind of formula to improve your love life. I am just addressing some of the things that I have come across and would like to document it, in case there may be any reference required from the experience that I may have had.


Today I would like to draw my attention towards the fact that how a partner (male or female) wants the other to change according to him/her. One has to understand that in every human being there is a factor that arouses the autocratic tendencies in him/her which only wants to rule over anything and everything apart from him/her. The softest target in case such feeling arises in a person is the partner that is close to him/her. The best thing by which one can assert himself/herself is actually to enforce a kind of change that is related to the characteristic of the other person. This is a thing that actually makes the other person really cranky. In the initial stages there is everything that is likable about the person and once the commitment is done, and there is no way to step back the other person always wants to change some of the characteristics that are inherent in the person and are the characteristics that actually define the person as an entity. I have mostly seen these things happen with people after marriage.


In today’s times marriage is a socially sanctified relationship that has a kind of social identity and recognition, however it also brings with itself its own limitations. I have often seen people trying to change the other person to an extent, which is not suitable for the other person. I have seen that the change is sometimes frustrating for the other person. It is true for husbands and wives. A husband, after marriage wants to see a different form of the girl that he actually loved. The same qualities, now become a kind of embarrassment for him and he asserts himself to the wife to change, to be a altogether different person, which may be socially viable but definitely not the person whom he had fallen in love with. Same is the case of wives, who, only after marriage try to find bugs in the life of their husbands. Sometimes I really feel that wives can make very good quality assurance executives because they have these uncanny habit and talent of finding errors in virtually everything and anything that their husbands do.


This is one of the reasons by which cracks develop in a relationship. As the time goes by the relationship reduces from being an emotional attachment to merely an official social bonding. The personal space is invaded by social obligations and preferences give way to adjustments. A relationship always requires a kind of adjustment. As I said in my previous article that a relationship doesn’t sustain on love but it sustains due to absence of hatred. It is about how you can actually live with the vices rather than endorse the virtues. So when you try to convert the vices to virtues just by asserting yourself on somebody or by merely giving some evidences of virtuosity then the other person is actually irritated and looks up at you as a kind of villain who has come to invade his/her life. Change is good, but when it is enforced upon it tends to get on the nerves. There is also this feeling in a person that for so many years he/she has been doing a particular thing but all of a sudden somebody, who he/she had loved, trusted and made a part of his/her life, is trying to invade the basic domains of his/her life. How can this be condoned or even tolerated. This antagonistic feeling further amplifies in the heart and finally comes out as an outburst. This results to fights initially then differences that are far from being met and finally there is a gap which is never filled. An obvious breakage in a relationship, which in any way is not desirable by any means.


So, how does one avoid this from happening? Let me give you one example. Taj Mahal, one of the wonders of the world and one of the most expensive and beautiful evidences of love is white in color. What if somebody wants to change this to a multi-colored minaret? Would this do any good to the existing Taj-Mahal? Would this add any kind of value apart from actually satisfying the ego of the person who is actually painting it red and blue? The answer is the mere attempt of trying to do this is a kind of folly that causes more harm than good. It harms the Taj-Mahal, establishes the person as a lunatic and drives away the people who are coming to watch the Taj-Mahal with a preconceived notion that it is white in color. Similarly every individual is like this monument of love; unique, unparalleled and distinct. Trying to change the basic characteristics itself is to be like the person who tries to paint Taj-Mahal red and blue. This brings more harm to the relationship, than doing good. There may be arguments that a person is trying to change the other person for the others good, however the fact remains that this change is carried out by means of assertion which is evident of the egoisitic intentions of the other person.


Conclusion: as many of my friends would want to have is as follows. Do not try to change things that actually are inherent. You have loved a person due to some qualities so try to be positive about that, rather than being negative about his/her vices. Because in the process of eliminating the vices you may as well eliminate the qualities that he/she might be having and then probably lose him/her.

Morose Cartoon films making our kids dumb!!!!!!

My daughter is a cartoon freak.
She is addicted to cartoons, just as any kid would be at her age. Every time there is a cartoon show she is just hooked on to the television like a couch potato to just watch her cartoon characters doing all sorts of antiques for her. What I find essentially in these cartoons is a lack of basic humor that our generation cartoons usually had. With due respect to the creators of such cartoon characters (mostly Chinese) I would like to make a statement that creativity cannot be mass manufactured as it is a process that involves a lot of thinking and then subsequent implementation on the lines of the thought process. This chain of events is grossly messed up when somebody is in a race of producing more lot in a stipulated amount of time given. I believe like this you can produce cars, chips or even electronics but intelligent program production needs a kind of thought process which is distinct for each program.


I am referring to shows like “Ninja Hathodi”, “Shin-Chan” which are cartoons but fail to titillate humor in you. The shows are just morose narrations of some comic strips which have to be done in a half an hour slot. Most of the shows are marketed well but have very low on the content value. My previous blog was about the shows that are actually killing the interest of the television viewer. However, this problem is much more serious, as it is making a negative impact on the overall sense of humor development of one’s child. I remember in my days, when I was a kid we used to have cartoons like tom and jerry and Bugs bunny. The thought of these shows even can get me into a laugh riot. Even today when I watch Tom and Jerry I really laugh just in the same way I used to when I was a kid. Same is the reaction when I see the antiques of the great Bugs Bunny. The characters are immortal.


One thing I learnt also from these shows; Cartoons are not only for kids, they are actually also for the purpose of bringing out the kid inside you. This sole purpose is achieved by the earlier generation cartoons, which used to bring out the kid also in adults. However, in today’s times there are not much animated classics created on the lines of Looney tunes and Tom and Jerry. The animated films are high on technology (may-be), however the concept and the content have totally gone for a toss. This is because of the fact that the present generation Cartoon films do not have a purpose like the earlier generation had. The sole objective is to fill a time-slot in a channel and to generate TRPs. Such kind of shows don’t last longer and the evidence lies in the fact that when I ask my daughter as to what did the great “Ninja-Hathodi” do yesterday, she is not able to recall, but I am still able to recall most of the animated classics of Warner Bros (looney tunes) and MGM (Tom and Jerry).


I would like to stress on this fact that our kids are our future. If we want to see them sharp and want to help them grow up healthy by mind, we have to prevent them from watching such morose cartoon shows. They are the worst kinds of enemies that you can introduce your children to.


Moral of the story: A cartoon film without humor and content is useless for your kids. Despise them.

Deteriorating Indian Television

I was probably 10 years old when my fascination with television started. In our times watching too much of television was a kind of taboo and kids who were more exposed to the idiot box were actually looked like outcasts by the parents of “good-kids”. I however was a T.V. buff and was in the bad kids’ club for many reasons. I liked to watch cartoons, the mythological serials and quiz-shows. In our school there were debates, which you hardly find now, about the pros and cons of the television. These debates were heated ones and I always used to favor the television whole-heartedly. I am sure about the fact that such debates are very much archaic in these times.

As time progressed, the technology of television developed by leaps and bounds. The onslaught of cable television with satellite services then the successive migration from cable to d2h has hardly taken much time. I can say this because the technology became more mature at a much faster rate than actually me. It seemed as if the technology had had a serious syndrome of progeria where a person becomes mature at a much faster rate than you can ever imagine. There are HD-TVs now, the conventional CRT is a thing of past and there are LED-TVs. Today houses have more than one television and that too of much high-end capabilities. Having said this I want to just make one point, having a good body and sharp features may not essentially evolve the soul also. The soul of television is not the technology per say but actually the programs that are actually aired.

I remember how I used to wait for “Mahabharat” to be aired every Sunday and also wait for quiz time. People actually used to adjust their timings on the basis of the shows that were aired in the CRT television with only one channel earlier. Today the thing is very different. You have soap-operas that run for ages together, and also with re-runs, so if you have missed the main part you are not worried and you can watch it on the re-run. The soap-operas just stretch the stories on and on like a rubber band and then when the TRPs just fall they just end abruptly. You cannot call these un-creative programs as serials because in a serial there is a script that is pre-planned for a particular number of episodes and then there is a conclusive end to the serial that leaves a kind of impression in the minds of people. It arises the want for the people to see more of it, but also gives a kind of indication that, it ended on a good note. Today’s stories are a bit different.

We have stories that openly depict polyandry and philandering in its epitomic best. The female/male protagonists seldom have any kind of moral obligations towards the viewers and justify their amorous acts on a more placid platform. There is also the case of story stretching on and on and on top of that too many soap operas that are actually of similar nature. The essence of television is not the television box itself but the programs. What is the fun if you are actually having a full HD television but you are actually watching cranky shows on that box? Does it actually make any sense to invest or spend so much money on buying that television set? How long can you just admire the picture quality but ignore the malaise that you are experiencing due to watching such unscrupulous shows that are not only testing your patience but also leaving a negative impact on the home atmosphere in general. Does it really give you the peace of mind that you actually want? Or is it just giving you a reason to escape from the world for some time. If that is only the reason, escapism, then who really needs a HD TV for that. This objective can be well achieved if you are having a normal television, even black and white, for that matter, because the colors in the show are also of no importance to you.

Gone are the days when there used to be gripping stories of human values and behavior. There were distinctive shades in each and every show and every show was addressed to a specific viewer. I agree that this concept has now changed as you have a separate channel catering to your specific needs, but needs as specific they get, are not unlimited. Because you may have the need to watch news but this need may not be there for the entire 24 hrs of the day. Variety is a also a factor which we are not looking at and this is the reason why you have to swap channels frequently, for variety. However, now the issue is that we have more channels and good technology but less interesting programs. 95% of the time I have swapped all the channels in my television and concluded that nothing interesting is being aired on the television, and I bet this also has been the feeling that many of us have had when trying to find solace in television in idle times.

So on a concluding note, the importance today should be given to the content rather than the technology. Technology is heartless; it is a mere amalgamation of logic and precedence. However, humans have emotions which alone technology cannot suffice, nor can it be compensated by mechanical TV soap operas. These emotional buds are actually excited when they see something which is different and rich in content. There should be always an effort to innovate and supply rich content to the viewer, which is not happening.

The day that I really loved!!!!!

Today was a very tumultuous day for me. After many years probably I was dis-arrayed and wanted to be uncontrolled for some reasons. For the first time in life didn’t think whether I was right or wrong, because within inside I knew that we cannot decide what is wrong and what is right. Being in the mortal world I have this advantage of being oblivious to the truth, the absolute truth, and this in many ways has helped me develop a kind of cushion which I use to comfort myself for many different reasons. Today, however, I didn’t want to use that cushion. I wanted to experience the thorny reality; I wanted to be a part of the hard process of appraising myself in the war that we call as life. I never imagined that a sort of an escapist like me would dare to take this rebellious way of refuting myself and be brutally honest to myself, even if it is harming me. Today I wanted to be really myself, and by God I was in my full flow.

After the office, after discharging my professional duties, took the way to home, but there was a kind of weight carrying on my heart. Didn’t know why, and didn’t want to know why. Sometimes, I think I don’t even know something that is going on inside me, because staying with machines probably I have forgotten my system. However, it may happen with anybody, and I am not blaming any one for this thing that I have, because honestly, I love it. Machines don’t lie, machines don’t bother you with their emotions and they remain loyal to you. However, having said that, I know that I am of a different breed, and today this machine wanted to be a human. After many days, months and years probably felt the human necessity. Usually, I am a person, honestly who would try to blanket few things under light humor (if that is understood at all by anyone). Today, I couldn’t do that. Don’t know why, don’t know how. Sometimes, you require a kind of outburst, a kind of discharge from yourself and this is what I decided to do. Taking refuge of any kind of vices would have been a kind of indication that I was weak, and I didn’t want that to happen at all. So what did I do?

Well, after I came out of the office at around 9:00 PM I took a cab to Marine drive and there I sat for two hours. Don’t know why, but started shedding tears. The skylines of Malabar hills just watched me,the ignited board of SANYO and the lights of the queen’s necklace wanted to highlight my state to all but the soft breeze of the sea just covered whatever was coming out of inside. Probably it knew that this is a portion of me, I didn’t want to show off. However, today was a different day. I was not crying due to sorrow, I wasn’t crying due to some loss, I was crying by choice. Just felt that it had been many days I had not thrown something out of my system, didn’t realize that this is going to come out of me like that. The terrorized Oberoi Hotel was standing behind me like a support that is really needed, but alas the last thing that I needed at this moment was a support. I wanted to be left free.

It was a state that you are standing on a cliff and there are a thousand ropes actually holding you from falling. You know that you will not fall off, but then the wind that is flowing from above and from all the direction, is inviting you. You are now bounded but then you are also in the capture of the winds, where do you go? Do you want the ropes actually to hold you? Or you want the winds to take over? You know that these winds are not going to be for long, you know that these winds would probably throw you off the cliff, from which you are protected by the ropes, but still you are enjoying the soft touch of the winds. The ropes start you bite you, even when they are actually holding you against all kinds of odds, you are actually diverted towards the winds. You would probably care to die by the soft touch of the winds for once rather to stay in the bittercaptivity of the ropes. At this moment what could be the feeling that you could ever display? You are in a state of trance, when you actually want to be happy but tears roll down your eyes. You want to enjoy but the only enjoyment comes when the breeze actually cools you, and cools you more with the wet tears that you jerk out. Did you have an experience like this? Well, I bet even if you would have had, you would have been pragmatic enough to be not to display it. Question is if the pragmatism was actually worth it? I would say that I don’t think so. You were practical but then you lost the moment. The moment where you could have been probably with yourself or even possibly God and then probably been there for more and more time.

Someone told me that I would never attain the supreme nirvana because of my eccentric ways and iconoclast thoughts. I would just think that if this is not nirvana then what actually is? I was there alone surrounded by an atmosphere of silence in the middle of the night and then I was just shedding tears looking at the sea, and most importantly didn’t know why. I just did it, because I wanted to do it, I was enjoying it. I feel that something inside me just urged me to go to that place today and that too at the middle of night and do this activity.

Today I take this opportunity to thank God for this act. I was very happy. For once I left all inhibitions and did what I wanted to do, because probably I had run out of things to do at all under such a state.Yes you can say that I am MAD (Motivated Aggressive and Determined), but today I was just plain Kalyan, a person who just saw the best thing that you can ever see in the whole world and actually control it, one’s own life. I was living, I was no more this machine and definitely out of logical boundaries, even if it was for some moment.
Please share your unconventional experiences like this.

Surviving a relationship

I have often wondered why there is always an element of compatibility in a kind of relationship. What should be there, which would actually make a relationship work? Understanding, compassion, empathy or just plain love; well, couldn’t figure it out. Actually I feel that God has made all human beings so different that it would only be possible for God Himself to completely understand him/her. Medical science says that there cannot be any mechanical simulation of the hypothalamus, but one can definitely be understood by various means like body-language, tone etc etc. If you ask me, this concept seems to be very vague and very inconclusive in many manners. I never planned any kind of standard operating procedures in the process of building any relationship with anybody, probably when I planned unknowingly things went haywires for me. People are always in a mood to plan things for the future, look at the past, register a kind of sensory algorithm before actually realizing the essence of a relationship and while they do that the best part of the relationship is gone.

Love is not about liking the good qualities of a person, relationship is not about admiration or approbation because eulogy has limited life and often doesn’t serve as the fuel to maintain the momentum in a relationship. So then what is the key factor of a relationship? It is about bearing with the vices, overcoming limitations and undermining any kind of negative vibes that may actually tear apart the fabric that veils the soar that every relationship carries with itself. One may like you for various reasons, however liking has a finite survival time and after that comes the aspect of what should be the conditions so that the opposite person doesn’t hate you. Long term relations are not bounded by love, on the contrary they are bounded by absence of hatred. Tolerance and empathy serve as two major criteria that actually fuel the engines of a ongoing relationship. Trust, belief and mutual respect are actually the catalysts that smoothen the rough patches that a long standing relationship actually encounters.

Love can be an instantaneous feeling which has its own pros and cons, however love cannot alone be the factor of making a long relationship survive. Love can bind you, but whether it can keep you bounded forever is what it cannot guarantee. Relationships are like bridges that are built not only to suffice your romantic needs but also be a kind of escape way when you actually would want to escape from yourself. There are certain rooms in the corner of your heart where you also would not like to visit. Some dark rooms, which actually scare you of yourself and you wish they didn’t exist at all, however solitude can lead you even closer to such venues and make you a living corpse. It is the bridge of the relationship that actually lets you escape from those corners when they actually invite you. There are instances when people would actually want to rather be alone and not be in someones company and that is the point when the person is actually lying to himself. Solitude can never be a solution to problems that are social and personal. They can only be solved by companionship and sharing. I have heard people say lines that words like love and faith have no sense and no meaning, frigid as they might sound, I really empathize with them and would want to convey that the momentary love that they might have actually felt was a very good experience and should be cherished forever, however the expectations from that momentary impulse to actually translate to a long-standing relationship is something which is not sensible and so this leads to a misanthropic situation that the person actually goes into.

Love is probably the only feeling which is variable and has probably no fixed way of assessment. When you are sad you cry, when you are happy you smile or laugh, when you are scared you are afraid but when you are in love I guess there is a gamut of emotions that you display which actually have no sort of relation with each-other. There is no way to determine the course that such a feeling would take because the feeling itself is so inconclusive in the first place. There can be many people who would proclaim that they understand when it is love and they can actually discern true love from feelings like attraction and infatuation, however the first and most important step for love to start is attraction, by any means it may be. You may be intellectually, physically or mentally attracted to a person, but to love the person the attraction is necessary because it is the first step. I don’t proclaim to understand love, because had I understood it , I could have actually fixed lot of problems, however what I can say is that I have figured out somewhat after so many years that for a relationship to survive, love alone cannot be the only factor.